Tonight I am struggling with some grief over past events. Just the kind of thing that occasionally bubbles to the surface, and even though it’s in the past and things are far different now, it just makes me really sad and I have to have a good cry over it.
I tend to pick stones out to reflect what I need help with or how I’m feeling. Today I laid out turritella agate (self-confidence, letting go of bitterness), bloodstone (healing), and dalmation jasper (strengthening family ties).
Then I asked, “How can move through this grief?”
Knight of Wands
A reverse meaning of this knight is an inability to move forward. Here this knight may be saying to me, “Go ahead, have your cry. That’s fine. But then we’ve got to get back on the horse. There is so much to do!” I feel like this card indicates that there’s not necessarily shame in stopping to grieve, but that that can’t be the end of my road. Look to the future, scope out exciting things to do. (Like watch X-Files with my sweetheart and eat popcorn … just as soon as I’m done processing with this reading.)
Maintain clarity. It is easy to feel grief at the past actions of others. Don’t lose sight of where I am here and now in relation to these people. Things are better. So even though the past may rear up and open old wounds, don’t shut my eyes to the good that has eventually arisen from all that pain. Be confident in my ability to keep my eyes on the bright horizon as I go through this tough patch. Also, seek out the people and things that renew and support me. As the sun gives life on the planet, I should seek out that which gives me life.
King of Cups
Rachel Pollack in The New Tarot Handbook provides a reversed meaning of this King as: “Anger or tears may reveal long-hidden feelings.” I wouldn’t say these are long-hidden, but apparently they’ve been bubbling enough to spill over. Experience this cathartic release, and then get back to the upright meaning of the King of Cups: creativity through love. Being compassionate and trustworthy, and growing emotionally through this grief.
All of these cards seem to be saying, to some degree: “Feel it, let it out, and then get back to the good life. You don’t have to suppress it, but don’t linger in grief longer than you need to in order to release it.”