I received Barbara Moore’s Tarot Spreads: Layouts & Techniques to Empower Your Readings for Christmas. Today I decided to try her “Through the Shadows Spread” to further explore my current heartache.
Position One: My truth
I do understand that my current heartache is temporary. I was thinking just earlier today that time is the only thing that will really sooth the sharp pain I feel right now, but that at the moment I have to experience this. There’s no getting around it. So I do believe that better things will come, but it’s like I’m outside without my glasses on. All of the stars are blurred and practically invisible. I can’t imagine what this better future would be. I’m mired in pain at the moment with no clear Star perspective other than the not quite helpful adage of “this too shall pass.”
Position Two: My deepest inner fear
Four of Chalices
While usually I lean more toward the more upbeat interpretation of this card, that is not so in this position. I’m afraid I’m doomed to sit under this tree having my cups kicked over by inconsiderate passers by. I’m trying to be strong and content, but every time I fill up a few cups and start to feel stable (the number four), something happens. Perhaps I’m minding my own business and someone kicks my cups down. Or perhaps I invite someone under my tree to proudly show them my cups and they are indifferent or dismissive. It’s a lonely place to be, and sometimes I feel like I am doomed to relive this over and over. This deck’s depiction of the Four of Chalices reflects this feeling very strongly for me.
Position Three: Familiar, external fear, distraction, or illusion
Ace of Swords
I often fear that I’m being unreasonable or overly harsh in wielding my sword-element powers. In this situation, this has crossed my mind from time to time, but honestly I believe I have been wronged and that I am not being unreasonable to feel this way.
Position Four: Unknown, external fear, distraction, or illusion
Nine of Chalices
Satisfaction and happiness with life are things that I have sneaked awfully close to but which remain unknown to me as constants. Or constant enough for me to trust in them as something I deserve or will have again. It feels like an illusion that is too good to be true, and it is something I fear I won’t be able to have.
For all three fear positions, it seems appropriate that they’re chalices and a sword. My thoughts and emotions can get so twisted up and confused that I feel horribly lost and frightened.
Positions Five & Six: Lighting my path
Two of Pentacles, Seven of Wands
Life has its ups and downs, and I can create my own steady rhythm including when to let some balls drop. If I keep this in mind I may feel more in control and less lost. I may be in a very challenging time right now, but I must trust myself to get through. I must not doubt my strength or my value. I find the depiction of the Seven of Wands in this deck particularly beautiful.
Position Seven: Nature of my path
Ah, my friend Strength. As difficult as this path is, the nature of this path is self-confidence and self-trust. Believing I am strong and valuable and not wavering on these points. Without holding to these beliefs, I will surely collapse on this path. It would be too unbearable to find some healthy way out of this situation and I’d be gobbled up by depression and sorrow and make a mess of my life over someone who clearly doesn’t value me as much.
And Strength isn’t always inherently from oneself alone. I can draw strength and encouragement from my sweetheart as I trudge down this painful trail.