Full Moon Reflection: 23 Mar 2016

At this full moon, I decided to try a spread from New Age Hipster. I used the Animal Totem Tarot and the Mirrors of the Heart oracle deck.

Position One: What’s going on in my life right now

March 23 - 1

King of Cups, Gentleness

The King of Cups has great control over the watery element of emotions. I am barely hanging on to control, but I suppose the key is that I haven’t let my emotions overtake me. There are many changes happening right now in my life. My business plans are moving along, Mr. Donkey just got a new job, we’ll be moving, and I’m having trouble with a particular relationship. While most of these are good things, I still don’t handle change super well. So it’s good that I’m still tenuously in control of my emotions. I have to be gentle with myself when I stumble and gentle with myself by allowing myself to feel some of the intense emotions that are headed my way. They aren’t inherently bad. Just observe, feel, and don’t lose control.

Position Two: What to release, it no longer serves me

March 23 - 2

The Hermit, Movement

At first these cards seems to be contradictory. But in the position, perhaps I need to let go of the expectation that others will go within themselves, reflect on certain issues, and take action based on their introspection. As much as I would love this, I certainly can’t make it happen. And if I expect it I’ll be disappointed quite regularly. It’s a hard thing to release, though, because I just don’t think it’s asking a lot for people to think before they act when their actions are potentially harmful or damaging. Having this expectation brings a lot of pain.

Position Three: Lessons

March 23 - 3

Page of Cups, Awakening

I’m not even sure yet. I feel like I’m in the middle of many lessons right now, but I’ve not yet quite “learned” them. Time will tell. Pages are the youngest  and least developed of the court cards, and the Awakening card depicts little fetuses in the earth. I’m still in the beginning stages of many lessons during this crazy transitional time in my life. So who knows? Like the seal, I just need to go with the flow and have as much fun as I can along the way.

Position Four: Blessings

March 23 - 4

Two of Wands, Peace

It’s been a blessing to start taking some big steps in my business plans. I’m finalizing a logo at the moment, and when we move I’ll be creating a brand new work space. I have many choices ahead, and being able to create these plans is a blessing in itself. I’m much more at peace beginning this work than have been at other work. This work will allow me to care for myself and to create a peaceful environment in ways I could not with a more “traditional” job. A privilege and a blessing indeed.

Position Five: What my heart wants

March 23 - 5

Nine of Pentacles, Sanctuary

Sanctuary! It’s been a really rough go for a while. My soul aches some days. I wish for peace and contentedness. A nice slow pace of life and quiet place to seek peace. I want sanctuary from heartache. But I don’t want to isolate myself.

Position Six: Big step to take to reach my dream

March 23 - 6

Ten of Cups, Voice

Speak up in my family of choice. If I show up without my voice, I’ll never feel like myself — which means I’ll never feel like I really belong. Show up, speak up.

Position Seven: What to focus on next

March 23 - 7

Two of Pentacles, Stillness

One thing at a time without overburdening myself or over- or under-focusing on any one area. Make small goals, all the while maintaining an inner sense of quiet stillness. One day that might be to pack several boxes. Another day that could be to revise my code of ethics, to walk in nature, or to read and journal. Focus is needed during this time, but I need to focus on only focusing on one thing  at a time. Focus on not getting overwhelmed.

Full Moon Reflection

Reading 2016, Jan 23
Prisma Vision Tarot

In addition to mimicking the shape of the full moon, I also drew the shadow card to represent what the light of the full moon may cast a shadow on.

The Full Moon

Six of Wands, Eight of Wands, Queen of Pentacles, The Hierophant, Six of Pentacles

What I see here is that even though it doesn’t feel like I’ve really accomplished much, I should stop thinking about what I think I “should have” accomplished and look instead at the real progress that has been made. I have been much more compassionate and forgiving with myself. I’m seeking balance and deeply examining my beliefs. What do I wish to hang on to and what do I wish to let go of? What do I need to rewrite? These things are actions and are successes.

Shadow

Five of Pentacles

The work I’m doing isn’t easy, and it can often leave me feeling defeated. A definite shadow. If I keep in mind that what I’m doing is important and is valuable and necessary, perhaps that can help mitigate the feeling of defeat.

New Moon Wellspring

At this new moon, what opportunities are available to me?

Reading 2016, Jan 10
Prisma Visions Tarot

The World, Temperance, Seven of Wands, Knight of Pentacles

Wholeness and balance are available for me to strive for, but it doesn’t mean they’re some low-hanging fruit I can just nab and enjoy. To begin with, I have to decide what “wholeness” and “balance” mean to me exactly. What type of wholeness and balance I will strive for. Then I have some tricky terrain ahead of me where I will have to try my best to remain true to myself and to be persistent. I will have to try and walk the line between my head and my heart, which right now is a confusing thing indeed. This new moon reading really reflects the simultaneous possibility and conflict I feel. The Knight of Pentacles in this deck isn’t even wearing shoes! I feel like that now. Dressed for battle, but not actually prepared for what’s coming my way.

While this new moon reading hasn’t cleared much up for me, it has validated my feelings about my situation. Full of potential but not at all easy.

 

New Moon Wellspring

Moon

I check in at each new moon to set goals for the month ahead. These are opportunities to better my life.

EARTH (PENTACLES)

Home, Health, Nature, Work

  • Keep the dining room table clear for longer than an afternoon.
  • Keep taking care of myself (by taking it easy) as I get used to this new med
  • Once I’m feeling better, get back to hula hooping and walking.

FIRE (WANDS)

Projects, Creativity, Inspiration

  • Start back up on making my first ever quilt

WATER (CUPS)

Relationships, Emotion, Spirituality

  • Start meditating again
  • Continue fostering my relationships in my chosen family
  • Write to some friends I haven’t spoken with a while

AIR (SWORDS)

Knowledge, Communication, Justice

  • Read more books! Having a dang smart phone has gotten in the way of my reading :/
  • Give myself credit for improving communication — including being better at apologizing when I need to

Full Moon Reflection

Moon & Self cropTime to reflect on my progress in each elemental area. The full moon gives me a chance to regularly check in with myself to see how I am doing and whether I am well-balanced or need work in a particular area.

Earth (Pentacles)

I have been more physically active lately. I’ve been hula hooping, and I started lifting small weights again a couple of days ago. I’m not totally on track yet, but I’m on the right track. It’s been too cold to get out on the trail, which is a bummer.

I’ve also been better at making actual meals instead of just eating whatever the easiest thing at hand is. So that’s good.

The apartment is a bit cleaner. I’ve set up a new chore schedule to help me stay on top of things on a weekly basis. This week it isn’t going so well with Thanksgiving excitement, but next week will be better.

Fire (Wands)

I haven’t been very motivated lately. I have a lot of things that need doing, and the lack of motivation is turning into stress as my tasks pile up. There’s not actually that many things I need to do, but without much motivation, it seems like a lot. I think this is just a more or less natural dip in motivation as the weather gets colder and the semester winds down. The next couple of weeks might be tough, but I’ll be fine.

Water (Cups)

It’s been so-so in this area. I’ve certainly been feeling a lot, but a good bit has been fear and anxiety due to a few different circumstances. However, I’ll give myself credit for handling these feelings in a much healthier way than in the past. Rather than totally letting them take over my body, I control what I can. I dig up the root of the the feeling, and even if I can’t banish it, I do tarot readings and create positive self-talk to help dampen the feeling (at least somewhat) until it passes.

Air (Swords)

Intellectually, I’ve been enjoying my school work. I also continue to do a better job of letting my brain rest and just being whether I am alone or with other people. It’s a nice feeling, and the world hasn’t crumbled around me.

Overall Reflection

It’s been a good month with some really hard bits thrown in there. I haven’t made as much progress between my last Full Moon Reflection and now as I would have hoped, but I have made progress, and for now I am content with that. I’m not stagnant, and I’m not moving backwards. My main focus has been Earth and Water, and the baby steps I’ve made there feel significant even if they don’t seem like it when I look closely at the changes I’ve made. I’m eating meals, I’m moving my body, I’m cleaning my home, and I’m trying my best to stay on top of negative emotions. I’m not winning at these every day, but that’s not the point today. I’ll go ahead and give myself a pat on the back.

New Moon Wellspring

MoonThis is the first of my New Moon Wellspring posts. I plan to write each new moon about the opportunities that lay before me. This will help me to be aware of these opportunities and to plan how I will take advantage of them rather than let them pass me by.

EARTH (PENTACLES)

  • I need to be more active! I have the time and the means to move my body: lift weights, do yoga, go for more walks, Sweat to the Oldies, hula hoop.

Action plan: I will work out at least 3 times per week.

  • I need to eat more! I’ve gotten out of the habit of making sure I eat three meals a day that aren’t some combination of ice cream, granola bars, cereal, or oatmeal.

Action plan: Create a weekly menu, including easy lunches.

FIRE (WANDS)

  • I have several unfinished craft projects and creative hobbies I’ve been neglecting. Sewing, crocheting, piano, writing.

Action plan: Pick one of these and work on it for at least an hour a week. (Baby steps!)

WATER (CUPS)

  • Tarot is a continuing opportunity to grow spiritually.

Action plan: Continue studying tarot daily, and keep practicing meditation (even if I’m not too good at it so far).

  • Emotionally, I have the opportunity to grow closer with my family of choice.

Action plan: Don’t clam up when I get nervous. Make a conscious effort to open up and share my thoughts, emotions, and experiences. Put myself out there.

AIR (SWORDS)

  • Finishing my class this semester is an opportunity to grow intellectually.

Action plan: Do a better job of reading every day so that I don’t have to rush through the books the day before class. Then I can enjoy them more and absorb more of the information.

Full Moon Reflection

Moon & Self cropThis is the first of my Full Moon Reflection posts. I plan to reflect on my progress in each elemental area of the tarot on each full moon. This gives me the chance to regularly check in with myself to see how I am doing and whether I am well-balanced or need work in a particular area.

EARTH (PENTACLES)

Two days ago I went on a nice walk on the trail. I saw a bluejay, a tiny snake, some ducks, a heron, and some Canada geese. The geese flew right overhead pretty low, and we could hear their wings beating the air. I’ve been depressed and inactive, so this was a great way to get my body moving and to reconnect with nature and remind myself how beautiful the world can be. The moon was low on the horizon, and it was quite lovely.

I think I’d like to go sit out on the trail one of these days with my camera and see what kinds of beauty I can capture.

I’ve been eating slightly better, and I’ve been slightly more active. So room for improvement there, but I have a baby-sized start.

FIRE (WANDS)

I am really driven right now to study tarot, and I’m enjoying every second of it.

I’m also driven to get the elemental parts of myself in balance, and I think I’m starting off on a good foot. Instead of over-analyzing everything, I am beginning to frame my life in terms of these elemental energies and taking them into consideration throughout the day. I’m in the process of making this a habit, which is a big step to real change in how I approach the world.

WATER (CUPS)

This weekend was an anniversary for my sweetheart and me, so it was a wonderful opportunity for a “staycation.” We hadn’t realized how long it had been since we’d stayed put and relaxed on a weekend. It was a real boost for my spirit and emotions. As was all the yummy food we made, which could be an earth element, but it sure fed my soul too 🙂

In dealing with my trigger from a couple of weekends ago, I’m more of an emotional wreck. At the same time, I’m not having nearly as many physical symptoms that usually accompany my stress. So maybe I’m handling it better than usual.

AIR (SWORDS)

This is the element I’m trying to reign in a bit. Of course I’ve been doing my schoolwork, but I’ve been doing a pretty good job at letting my mind rest at other times. I am overthinking my communication regarding my trigger, but not nearly as much as I have in the past. I am stressed about it, but I’m not obsessively thinking about it every waking moment, which is usually something I’m pretty good at. So I’ll call this a win for now.

OVERALL

I’m better balanced than I have been in a long time, and there’s still plenty of work to do. But I’m off to a good start!