New Moon Wellspring

I laid this spread out the night of the new moon, but I’m a couple of days late sitting down and interpreting it in detail. I found this spread at Little Red Tarot, and I pulled the shadow card as well.

7 - New Moon
Ostara Tarot

Position One: Where I stand

The Tower

Things are certainly changing all around me. I wasn’t surprised or taken aback at all to see this card in this position. Job, home, town, certain relationships. So much change at once! But really most of it is good. Old things are falling down as new things sprout forth. But it does feel turbulent just because it’s so much at once!

Position Two: Something to leave behind

Four of Swords

I’ve been a bit frozen as I watch the Tower crumble. Again, mostly good things, but it’s BIG and a bit overwhelming. I haven’t been accomplishing much lately, including things I value very much (like keeping up with practicing tarot daily!) because I’m like a deer in the headlights. Some of these changes will take a while to take full effect. Sitting here frozen isn’t going to help the process along or make it go faster. Carrying on won’t either, but at least I’ll be doing things I enjoy! Time to get off my tush. I do have a life to live between now and when the full effect of these changes happens. I can’t just sit and watch the world go by for the next few months. How sad would that be!

Position Three: Something to receive

Ace of Pentacles

An absolute abundance of opportunity! Smile and welcome it 🙂

Position Four: Something to learn

Two of Pentacles

Balance. Thanks Two of Pentacles. Like I didn’t know that. I’m always sassy to this card when it shows up. It’s so darn practical and obvious. But that doesn’t make it any less true! Balance these huge, slower moving changes with my day-to-day life stuff.

Position Five: Something to give

Ace of Swords

I’m a smart lady. I need to be sharp and give my knowledge and thoughts during these super big changes. It’s really important to be on my toes and active in these large decisions. This next month is not a time for brain relaxation.

Position Six: My hopes and dreams

The Hermit

A home to call my own! Mr. Donkey and I are planning our own little cave. Our own get-away from the world. A safe and cozy and family-oriented space to thrive and grow.

Position Seven: My secret special skill

King of Swords

I don’t do bullshit. And like I said earlier, now is a time to be on top of things. Don’t let anyone pull the wool over my eyes. Don’t get tricked. Stay sharp, speak up, and be a commanding presence.

Shadow card

Page of Cups

My emotional bits are still bruised and sore. There will for sure be some incredibly difficult emotional moments and stretches during these changes. It’s just the way it is. It will happen, and it’s better to acknowledge that than to pretend otherwise and be knocked flat when it happens. There will be really bad days. But hopefully there won’t be many of them.

Reading: Through The Shadows

I received Barbara Moore’s Tarot Spreads: Layouts & Techniques to Empower Your Readings for Christmas. Today I decided to try her “Through the Shadows Spread” to further explore my current heartache.

Reading 2016, Jan 3
Prisma Visions Tarot

Position One: My truth

The Star

I do understand that my current heartache is temporary. I was thinking just earlier today that time is the only thing that will really sooth the sharp pain I feel right now, but that at the moment I have to experience this. There’s no getting around it. So I do believe that better things will come, but it’s like I’m outside without my glasses on. All of the stars are blurred and practically invisible. I can’t imagine what this better future would be. I’m mired in pain at the moment with no clear Star perspective other than the not quite helpful adage of “this too shall pass.”

Position Two: My deepest inner fear

Four of Chalices

While usually I lean more toward the more upbeat interpretation of this card, that is not so in this position. I’m afraid I’m doomed to sit under this tree having my cups kicked over by inconsiderate passers by. I’m trying to be strong and content, but every time I fill up a few cups and start to feel stable (the number four), something happens. Perhaps I’m minding my own business and someone kicks my cups down. Or perhaps I invite someone under my tree to proudly show them my cups and they are indifferent or dismissive. It’s a lonely place to be, and sometimes I feel like I am doomed to relive this over and over. This deck’s depiction of the Four of Chalices reflects this feeling very strongly for me.

Position Three: Familiar, external fear, distraction, or illusion

Ace of Swords

I often fear that I’m being unreasonable or overly harsh in wielding my sword-element powers. In this situation, this has crossed my mind from time to time, but honestly I believe I have been wronged and that I am not being unreasonable to feel this way.

Position Four: Unknown, external fear, distraction, or illusion

Nine of Chalices

Satisfaction and happiness with life are things that I have sneaked awfully close to but which remain unknown to me as constants. Or constant enough for me to trust in them as something I deserve or will have again. It feels like an illusion that is too good to be true, and it is something I fear I won’t be able to have.

For all three fear positions, it seems appropriate that they’re chalices and a sword. My thoughts and emotions can get so twisted up and confused that I feel horribly lost and frightened.

Positions Five & Six: Lighting my path

Two of Pentacles, Seven of Wands

Life has its ups and downs, and I can create my own steady rhythm including when to let some balls drop. If I keep this in mind I may feel more in control and less lost. I may be in a very challenging time right now, but I must trust myself to get through. I must not doubt my strength or my value. I find the depiction of the Seven of Wands in this deck particularly beautiful.

Position Seven: Nature of my path

Strength

Ah, my friend Strength. As difficult as this path is, the nature of this path is self-confidence and self-trust. Believing I am strong and valuable and not wavering on these points. Without holding to these beliefs, I will surely collapse on this path. It would be too unbearable to find some healthy way out of this situation and I’d be gobbled up by depression and sorrow and make a mess of my life over someone who clearly doesn’t value me as much.

And Strength isn’t always inherently from oneself alone. I can draw strength and encouragement from my sweetheart as I trudge down this painful trail.

Reading: The Tower

Reading 2015, Dec 1
Gypsy Palace Tarot, A Reading for The Tower from Rachel Pollack’s The New Tarot Handbook

Position One: What structures my life?

Five of Pentacles

My experiences of hardship, pain, and rejection.

Position Two: How has it supported me?

Ace of Swords

It has supported my intellectual gift. I have nurtured this side of me because it was the safest piece of myself to grow in that environment.

Position Three: How has it confined me?

Justice

I can often have a skewed or confused sense of justice. I am both acutely aware of inequality and injustice, and I struggle with whether my expectations and ideals of justice are fair or if I “rule” too harshly. I lack self confidence in decision making and my sense of true self.

Position Four: What will break it apart?

Queen of Pentacles

My gentle friend the Queen of Pentacles is back to remind me: true joy in the world around me. Surrendering to what is beautiful and joyful in this world. Accepting the love and nurturance of those who encourage this in me.

Position Five: What will emerge?

Page of Pentacles

A new me. A curious and enthusiastic woman happy to explore the world around her for no other reason than the joy of learning.

Thanksgiving Reading

I found this great Thanksgiving spread I’d like to try out. I’m doing it a day early because we’re getting ready to head over to spend the next couple days with family, and I won’t have anywhere private to do this. (I’m not exactly “out” yet about my tarot reading.)

Reading 2015, Nov 25
Animism Tarot

This seems a lot more gloomy than I was anticipating. Time to dive in and see what some of this might mean.

Position One: What sustains me (Turkey)

Five of Pentacles

This seemed like a tough card in this position, but I pulled out Joanna’s little white book, and some of the key words she uses for this card can certainly fit here: “truth, adaptation, endurance.” These little kiwis have been through a lot, but they still have each other and they know this moment is not the end. Better things will come. They just have to endure the present moment. I think it is fair to say that this sense of endurance is something that sustains me. I’ve been through bad times, but I’ve learned to stick with those who love me and to know in the midst of sorrow and hardship that better things will come.

Position Two: What completes me (Stuffing)

The Wheel of Fortune

A change in my life for the better. The period of my life defined by pain has ended. A new era has dawned, and even though some of it is mysterious and beyond my control, it’s a much better place to be. I love the image of a spider web as the Wheel. This can symbolize the interconnectedness of all things. I may only be a thread in the web, but I am both an essential piece (valuable, with purpose) and connected to the others (attached, not in control). Additionally, spider webs look pretty delicate, but they’re quite strong.

Position Three: What I don’t get enough of (Green Bean Casserole)

Ace of Swords

At first I was confused by this card in this position since I tend to be a sword-heavy person. But perhaps in this place it means clarity and courage. I think a lot and rely on my mind a lot, but it doesn’t mean I’ve felt brave about some of the changes I’d like to make, or clear on how to create these changes. I’ve not been seeing with the clear sight of the eagle.

I like what Joanna says, “Let the world speak. What we find may not be what we wanted, but it may be what we needed after all.”

Position Four: What I get too much of (Cranberry Sauce)

Ace of Wands

Well, I’ve already established that it’s not courage. I think with this Ace in this position, I think I’ve had too much fire and drive with too little direction to send it in. I want change, I’m ready for change, but I’ve got all this pent up energy. Without the clarity of the Ace of Swords, I can get burned by this energy.

Position Five: What I need to share (Bread)

The Magician

One of the many meanings that the Magician conveys is “as above, so below,” and so also “as within, so without.” I have moments of confidence and pride in who I am on a deep level. I need to share that. I need to share myself, my talents, and my skills to create the “as within, so without” balance represented in the Magician.

Position Six: What I should enjoy more (Pie)

Nine of Wands

This is a card of defensiveness. When I first discovered this, I immediately related to it. The RWS depiction of someone with their flimsy fort of sticks was a symbolic depiction that spoke directly to me. In the Animism Tarot, we can see that this elephant had good reason to fight. She was being held captive. However, if we look closely, we can see that her chains are broken. She can run away now. I should enjoy my freedom more, rather than feeling like I’m still in the middle of a fight.

Position Seven: What my blessing is in life (Blessing)

Three of Swords

While this card represents heartbreak and pain most clearly, it also speaks to healing. I wouldn’t necessarily call my pain a blessing, but the sunrise after the storm is something a lot of people don’t get to see. For folks who live out their lives in mostly sunny days, a sunrise may not be something special. But as someone who spent the first two decades of her life in a dark and scary storm, the sunrise after was and continues to be a huge blessing. My blessing is that I escaped my pain (or the source of my pain, anyway), and I get to journey to greener pastures. I get to revel in the joy of many small kindnesses that others may take for granted.

Overall Reflection

That turned out much less gloomy than I thought it might at first glance. My pain is a part of me, but that doesn’t mean the pain itself stays central to who I am. It may shape me, but my life is about more than dwelling in the hurt.


 

Note: I swapped green bean casserole and cranberry sauce from their original positions in Arwen’s spread to better fit my Thanksgiving taste buds  🙂

Reading: The Chariot

Reading 2015, Nov 13
Gypsy Palace Tarot, A Reading for the Chariot from Rachel Pollack’s The New Tarot Handbook

This reading serves as an overall reflection of sorts on the first row of seven in the Major Aracana.

Position Zero: Fool. What am I leaping into at this time in my life?

Three of Pentacles

I am leaping into a cooperative era of my life that is quite new for me! This includes both a conscious cooperation with those around me to make emotional connections and a conscious cooperation between my body, mind, and spirit.

Huszka’s portrayal of the Three of Pentacles is more reflective of the frustration of having an idea that you aren’t quite sure how to put into action. In this position in the spread, I think the traditional meaning fits best, but it’s also good to remember that a breakthrough will come if I am feeling frustrated.

Position One: Magician. Where is the energy, the magic?

Three of Wands

The magic is in taking my dreams and fantasies and turning them into reality.

Position Two: High Priestess. What is secret or hidden or unspoken?

The Chariot

Like the individual / ego represented by the Chariot, as I reach the end of my delayed emotional adolescence, I still have much of my unconscious or “true self” to discover. As I come to a sense of balance with the ideas in the first line of the Major Arcana, I look forward to delving deeper on my journey.

Position Three: Empress. What is my passion?

Ace of Swords

My passion is truth and fairness.

Position Four: Emperor. What are the rules I follow (possibly hidden or unconscious)?

Five of Cups

A rule I follow is being realistic about what life brings: some sorrow to be sure, but there are always good things if you know where to look. Mourn that which is lost and don’t miss out on what you still have.

Position Five: Hierophant. What is the path laid out for me?

Ten of Wands

The path laid out for me is not the easiest path in the world, but it is worthwhile. I may feel burdened at times, but as long as I take time to rest and make sure I’m still on the right path, I’ll end up somewhere good.

Huszka’s portrayal can also represent having pushed rocks ahead of us on our path, but at some point they pile up so high we have to stop and dig ourselves out if we’re going to be able to keep moving.

Position Six: Lovers. How do I express my passion?

Eight of Wands

I may ponder something for a while, but once I’ve decided on something I ACT! Sometimes a bit obsessively.

Position Seven: Chariot. Where is it all heading?

The Empress

What a huge question! The Empress, within the context of the other cards in the spread, may be saying that I am on the road to being able to joyfully and passionately experience the outer / physical world. While my passion is truth and fairness, this doesn’t mean only internal contemplation. There are truths related to the world around us that I’m missing out on. It won’t always be the easiest journey, but the end of the road sounds wonderful! I can accomplish this by using my passion and drive to turn my dreams of this end result into a reality, and I don’t have to do it alone. And once I’ve reached a balance in the outer world I can better journey through the second row of the Major Arcana.

Reading: The Emperor

Reading 2015, Nov 10 (2)
Gypsy Palace Tarot, A Reading for The Emperor from Rachel Pollack’s The New Tarot Handbook

Position One: How am I an Emperor in my life?

Nine of Swords

At this transitional moment in my life, I think this card can have two meanings. (1) My life has been structured by pain and grief. I can’t say whether I’ve built it that way or whether I “let” it happen, but either way pain and grief have been my life’s scaffolding for a very long time. (2) As I seek to take control of my life and rebuild my self and my approach to the universe (a possible “reverse” reading of the card), I am taking the Emperor’s role of both creating structure and stability and of protecting myself. I am stepping up to the throne, so to speak.

Position Two: How am I not an Emperor?

The Sun

I am not an Emperor when I use tarot to grow my spiritual understanding of myself, the world, and the universe. I am an Emperor by choosing a form of study to help me on the path of self-care, but I do not let structure get in the way of exploring tarot. I am able to not worry about what is “right” or “wrong” and to delve into the cards with an open mind and heart. A curiosity and openness that isn’t very Emperor-like. And I think that’s a good thing!

This card also appeared in my reading for The High Priestess. In that reading, The Sun spoke to letting my inner truth shine forth. By not over-Emperor-ing my approach to tarot, I can facilitate that happening.

Position Three: Where do I need to take charge?

Queen of Pentacles

The Queen of Pentacles loves nature, values hard work and simple pleasures, and brings love out into the world. She is a queen (water) within the suite of pentacles (earth). Perhaps I need to take charge of consciously finding the simple pleasures the world offers and anchoring my life’s structure around these things. I also ought to take charge of making sure that I am giving love into the world as well. The Emperor hold his orb representing his responsibility to the Whole. Part of this responsibility could be making sure my love is not hidden away. Share it consciously.

This is the third time she has shown up in five Major Arcana readings! First in my reading for The Fool for where I can be more foolish and last in my reading for The Empress for what nurturing gives me. All extremely positive positions.

Position Four: How am I weak?

Knight of Swords

Knights are air and swords are air. As I’ve said numerous times, I can be an overly-air-heavy person. My weakness is in placing too much value on intellect and “right” and “wrong.” This would lead an Emperor to be rigid and domineering, punishing or abusive even. I can work on overcoming this tendency by following the advise of the previous card: The Queen of Pentacles as a guide for where to take charge in my life: water and earth. I should just be careful to not take charge in such an “air-like” fashion. Take charge in some ways by giving over to water and earth. Letting water and earth take charge within me.

Huszka’s Knight of Swords looks like kind of a mess. A storm rages behind him, ships fly through the air, he has one leg and no pants. He keeps trudging forward, but maybe he needs to stop and reevaluate for a bit.

Position Five: How am I strong?

Ace of Swords

The Ace of Swords in this position may remind me not to demonize my air qualities so much. They are a strength. They just need to be directed in an appropriate manner so I don’t cut myself or those around me. My mind is strong. Use that strength in a positive and productive way.

Position Six: What rules, conscious or unconscious, govern my life?

Ace of Pentacles

Even though I am sword/air-heavy, there is a little Ace of Pentacles beating in my chest begging to be set free and planted in the ground. It feels like a bit of my “true self” that is trapped at times. I think that the rules that govern my life boil down to the interconnectedness of all things. People, animals, plants, the universe. The physical things that surround me are things I am intimately tied to, and so I want to be in harmony with these things. In loving harmony with my family of choice, in loving harmony with the creatures and plants that fill my world, in tune with the greater spirit/web that connects us all.

This card also appeared in my reading for The Fool regarding what gifts the Fool can give me.

Overall Reflection

I enjoyed this reading very much as it was a great way to see both the ways that I take power and control within my own life and the way that I either need to let go of power and control or need to take control in a different way/realm.

The presence of two Aces might suggest the great potential that lies before me as I take charge of my life.

Elements & Aces

Today I’ll be exploring a few lessons from The Alternative Tarot Course by Beth of Little Red Tarot. I’m thinking about the elements, the aces, and how I can connect these things to my own life.

Pentacles

Ace of Pentacles
Ace of Pentacles, Efflorescent Tarot

Pentacles are the suit of our material lives. Things like home, money, health, work, bodies, sex, and nature. Pentacles also represent the element of earth.

Ace of Pentacles opportunity: I’ve recently been able to quit my job, and I have the opportunity to nurture my home and health. I can vacuum and wash dishes and do yoga and walk in nature and craft. In general, I’ll be a better partner. And I’m pretty darn excited about all of these things!

Pentacle & Earth Parts of Me: I love being in nature, and I love animals.

Room for Improvement or Balance: I’m not always very in tune with my body or very good at taking care of it.

Wands

Ace of Wands
Ace of Wands, Efflorescent Tarot

Wands are the suit of our inner fire. Things like “ideas, projects, creativity, beginnings, inspiration… the things which motivate us, excite us and drive us forwards.” Wands also represent the element of fire.

Ace of Wands opportunity: Pretty much everything I’m doing right now feels wand-y. I’m full of inspiration on my new life path! I’ll get back to writing my novel which I’ve neglected for months now. I’m learning tarot which is really fun so far (and really helpful too). I have my whole life ahead of me, and I feel for the first time like I really am the author of my own life.

Wand & Fire Parts of Me: I can be really creative. I am passionate and driven. Sometimes I’m adventurous.

Room for Improvement or Balance: Trust my creative self more.

Cups

Ace of Cups
Ace of Cups, Efflorescent Tarot

Cups are the suit of our emotional and spiritual selves. Things like “love, connection, sadness, spirituality/religion, soulfulness, artistic creativity.” Cups also represent the element of water.

Ace of Cups opportunity: Since I am able to stay at home now, I will be able to dedicate much more time to caring more for my mental/emotional health. I’ve been struggling a lot lately, and I’m looking forward to caring for myself. Which will make me better able to connect with others.

Cup & Water Parts of Me: I am compassionate. I have depression, anxiety, and c-ptsd, so my emotions are out of whack at times. I feel things deeply. I love animals freely and people cautiously.

Room for Improvement or Balance: Emotional stability, trusting others.

Swords

Ace of Swords
Ace of Swords, Efflorescent Tarot

Swords are the suit of our intellectual selves. Things like “knowledge, truth, justice, strategy, communication, obsession.” Swords also represent the element of air.

Ace of Swords opportunity: I am now able to try building my intellect in new areas. I have primarily focused on formal education — I’ve loved school since the first day of kindergarten! But I’m looking for fulfillment and satisfaction elsewhere. And I can use my smarts to learn skills associated with the other suits/elements: crafting, communicating, writing, creating. It will be a new adventure for my thinking brain 🙂

Sword & Air Parts of Me: I am hardcore analytical and very intelligent (in a sword-y kind of way … the rest, not so much). I have an obsessive personality.

Room for Improvement or Balance: Don’t think so darn much. Feel and go with the flow.

Overall Reflection

I think that at this moment in time, Wands/fire are my biggest strength. I just need to trust myself to use those parts of myself. While I’m “best” at what the Swords represent, I’m overly dependent on my mind and need to cultivate my others traits and care for my body and heart. A better balance is what I’m working toward.

In my daily draws and readings now, I’ll try to take note of the elements at play and take them into consideration in my reflections.