At this new moon, what opportunities are available to me?
The World, Temperance, Seven of Wands, Knight of Pentacles
Wholeness and balance are available for me to strive for, but it doesn’t mean they’re some low-hanging fruit I can just nab and enjoy. To begin with, I have to decide what “wholeness” and “balance” mean to me exactly. What type of wholeness and balance I will strive for. Then I have some tricky terrain ahead of me where I will have to try my best to remain true to myself and to be persistent. I will have to try and walk the line between my head and my heart, which right now is a confusing thing indeed. This new moon reading really reflects the simultaneous possibility and conflict I feel. The Knight of Pentacles in this deck isn’t even wearing shoes! I feel like that now. Dressed for battle, but not actually prepared for what’s coming my way.
While this new moon reading hasn’t cleared much up for me, it has validated my feelings about my situation. Full of potential but not at all easy.
Continuing through Susannah Conway’s workbook, I’ve done a spread for the year ahead. I don’t subscribe to the idea of future-telling, but I do like the idea of a little message or tidbit to keep in mind for each month of the year ahead. So I’ve gone through and created a short message from each card, focusing on the particular messages in the little white book for the Ostara deck.
January – Queen of Coins
I love that this card came up first, especially since it is one of two cards that I chose to help guide me in courage through the year ahead.
“Cherish home and family, focus on and nurture the world immediately surrounding me.”
February – Justice
“Be mindful that all actions have consequences. Choose wisely.”
March – Seven of Coins
“Enjoy the little things. Don’t miss out on these small things by being distracted by impatiently expecting ‘more.'”
April – Four of Coins
“Protect what is mine, but don’t neglect those around me. Share and be generous.”
May – Wheel of Fortune
“Appreciate the good in my life, and don’t let any bad events take me down. Remember that I control my emotional reaction to what happens around me.”
June – Queen of Cups
“Be imaginative and trust my intuition. Continue to be kind and empathetic, but don’t let myself be emotionally drained by others.”
July – Seven of Swords
“In seeking independence, don’t isolate myself. I can be my own person within community.”
August – Knight of Coins
“Hardship can bring valuable lessons. Don’t quit.”
September – Eight of Swords
“Be careful not to get stuck in my own head. Look realistically at situations and seek additional perspectives.”
October – Four of Wands
“Celebrate with family. Be happy.”
November – Queen of Wands
“Trust my creative vision. Be passionate.”
December – The Empress
“Appreciate the abundance of good in my life. Embrace my creative powers.”
Ugh, maybe yesterday’s evening read was more a peek at what today might feel like. I’ve made a lot of personal progress is processing my traumas and living a healthier life. But boy, some days the past just jumps up and pushes me off an emotional cliff. That was today! So I won’t be doing a regular evening read today. I don’t feel like looking for the silver lining. Today I just want validation for my feelings. So I drew four cards from tarot to see how it might do that.
In this particular case, things are indeed much better in the present day. But for several years, I was treated maybe not so good.
Eight of Cups
I feel defeated and disappointed. I have worked so super hard to get to this place of goodness that I am today. But some days all of that hard work feels like I had to beg for kind treatment. And that doesn’t feel good. At all. It makes me feel lonely and sad, like that poor eagle person sitting on the mountaintop in the card.
I don’t truly have a sense of stability. Despite wishing to feel otherwise, I feel like the rug will be tugged out from under me at any moment. That if I had to beg for something, how can I count on it to stick around? I don’t feel safe. I don’t feel secure in this connection or like I am being taken care of in the same way that I give care and consideration.
Page of Swords
If the Page can be a symbol of an immature state of development within a suit or element, I feel this is what I am up against. I feel that others do not think long enough to consider how their actions and words might cut me. I may be a sword-heavy person, but I am generally acutely aware of others’ feelings and do my best to make people feel comfortable, welcome, and loved. I don’t feel that I get that in return with any degree of consistency.
Knight of Coins
I feel like this Knight in the picture. Wading knee deep through snow with a bear — that I’m not sure I can totally trust. Maybe the bear has helped me in the past, but it’s also knocked me off my feet and bared its teeth in my face. It’s abandoned me when I needed assistance and left me lying in the snow when I’ve fallen. These things are hard to forget.
An overall feeling I am seeing reflected back at me in this reading is insecurity, a lack of safety. Which in turn makes me feel angry. I put in so much time and work and I still don’t feel the same being returned. Like I said, things are actually much better than they were in the past. But like that bear in the Knight of Coins, I don’t feel sure things are all as they seem. It is an incredibly defeating feeling. Not my best day ever. Not my worst. A hard, sad day.
The Ten of Pentacles can represent excess, financial security, and social standing and responsibilities. I don’t think these are the meanings intended for me in this position. I think the magic of the world around us, rules, and loyalty are at the root of this card for me. The word loyalty was used in many of the texts I referenced, but never as the central or core meaning of the card. However, since the word appears in multiple places, it must have some sort of central role in the Ten of Pentacles.
I am deeply loyal to those I choose to love. In return, I do expect a certain kind of rule-oriented loyalty in return: take my feelings into consideration as I do yours is my main “rule.” Many sources contrasted the Ten of Pentacles with the Ten of Cups. In the Ten of Cups, the family only needed each other to feel great happiness. In the Ten of Pentacles, there is more structure to the family. This is a fair assessment of my inner expectations and approach to relationships. Togetherness is important, but so is mutual respect.
The little fenced off house in Huszka’s depiction of the Ten of Pentacles may signify this more structured approach to family and love. In this same depiction, I find the affection between the two characters shown as very clear. They do not seem stand-offish or aloof. They wrap their arms around each other and press their faces together. A very intimate expression of love and togetherness.
Additionally, I deeply value the magic of the world around me, even if (as implied by the Ten of Pentacles) I often take it for granted because it seems so “ordinary.”
So deep within me is intense loyalty, a need for respect, and a love of ordinary “magic.”
Position Two: How can I know it?
Knight of Pentacles
This card can represent dedication and persistence to the task at hand. Undistracted focus. Knights are air, and pentacles are earth. At times, the knight loses focus of the earth around him by being overly focused on air-centered practicalities. Huszka’s knight is surrounded by clouds/air and looks up toward the sky, blindfolded. His feet don’t quite seem to touch the ground, illustrating this disconnect between his knightly qualities and his suit’s qualities — he can forget the source of his strength: the earth.
Perhaps I can know my inner depths by not rushing to action as the other three knights would, but by taking contemplative action. However, I need to remember to stay grounded in the source of my power, the magic of the world around me, which the Knight of Pentacles struggles with.
Position Three: How can I be true to it?
This card can represent clarity, simplicity, and happiness. When unconscious knowledge is brought to the surface or to the world around us, it becomes physical, simple, and joyous. The inner and outer, spiritual and earthly are joined together in harmony.
Huszka’s Sun is a woman surrounded by radiant light (enlightenment) as well as green branches (symbol of physical, earthly joy). The holy light that lives within each of us will remain trapped there unless we seek it out and free it.
I can be true to my inner truth by letting it out and not keeping it locked up inside. Find the goodness of my inner self and free it so I can live its simple, joyous truth.
Position Four: What do I need to give to others?
This card may imply that I need to look honestly at myself, take responsibility for myself, free myself from the baggage of my traumatic past, and give my best and most free self to others.
This is also a card of decisions, and once made many decisions/actions cannot be revoked. The beads on the necklace around Huszka’s Justice’s neck may represent the physicality of decisions. This is also a warning to be thoughtful and make sure I understand the choices at hand before making a decision.
Position Five: What do I need to keep within?
The High Priestess
What an interesting card for this position! I think I’ll keep it short and sweet: I need to determine and understand that which is sacred within myself and protect it. Huszka’s depiction of The High Priestess looks so comfortable wrapped in a blanket sitting in what looks like a comfortable bed propped up by fluffy pillows. This cozy representation speaks to the good of keeping that which is sacred private.
This reading wasn’t what I was expecting, but I really enjoyed it. It provided some excellent insight into my inner self and how to live my inner truth in a meaningful way. The spread contained only pentacles and majors, which can represent the importance of a union between the larger spiritual and experiential realm (the majors) and the “mundane” physical world around me (pentacles).
I recently read an article for class called “The Mundanity of Excellence” by Daniel Chambliss. While he spends much of the article discussing Olympic swimmers, his underlying point is powerful: that which creates excellence isn’t some large abstract concept such as “talent.” It is the mundane things we do every day that lead to success and excellence. It is practice, dedication, precision, and mindset. So that which is deep inside of me can reach excellence in the world through the mundane ways that I bring its truth to the world.