Evening Read: 20 Dec 2015

Reading 2015, Dec 20
Ostara Tarot

Yikes! Let’s see how I can read these two cards in these positive positions.

Position One: What did I excel at or learn today?

Ten of Swords

As I’ve talked about before, I’ve experienced many Ten of Swords moments and periods of time in my life. Today I made a conscious effort to move beyond that and to extend trust where usually I would be too afraid or wary to do so. I expressed my love and appreciation of my chosen family to my chosen family. This was definitely a conscious move beyond my experience of life as waiting for the next Ten of Swords moment.

Position Two: How can I strive to be my best tomorrow?

Nine of Swords

Nine of SwordsAs a card of dark fears and mental anguish, this card may compliment the Ten of Swords in this reading and reinforce the idea that I continue to move beyond fear of betrayal and continue to openly invest in my relationships. The RWS portrayal of the Nine of Swords is an individual sitting up in bed with face in hands, distraught. This can represent a “dark night of the soul,” but night does not last forever. The sun will rise. I should watch the sun rise! The Ostara Tarot depiction shows a jaguar trapped by nine swords, all of which look different. This can represent my ability to imagine many different ways that things can utterly fall apart. At one point in time, this served me by allowing me to anticipate several different outcomes in my very unpredictable and unhealthy environment. Now this type of imagination is nothing but a hindrance. I can channel this ability to imagine different things to imagine positive outcomes, or to create projects or crafts. I can re-direct this thought energy to serve me in better ways.

Evening Read

I’ve been contemplating a daily activity with tarot that I will enjoy and benefit from. Daily draws didn’t seem to be quite what I was looking for, so after some pondering I have a plan to try. I plan to (usually daily) draw two cards at the end of the day.

Position one is: What did I excel at or learn today? (So, finding a positive)

Position two is: How can I strive to be my best tomorrow? (Self-growth)

I just got the absolutely stunning Ostara Tarot deck, so I decided to do my first evening read with it 🙂

Reading 2015, Dec 14
Ostara Tarot

Position One: What did I excel at or learn today?

Two of Cups

Paul Quinn in Tarot for Life says, “At its deepest level the Two of Cups echoes the Lovers’ theme of making peace with our inner opposites” (181). I was surprisingly not hard on myself today. I let myself relax and play with no self-scolding or obsessive thoughts that I could be doing something “better” with my time. I guess I did a good job of loving myself today!

Position Two: How can I strive to be my best tomorrow?

Ten of Swords

Don’t be overly cerebral. Stay in touch with my emotions and maintain compassion and patience for myself and others. Stop myself and work to stay grounded if my thoughts spiral out of control. Use the acronym “halt” — am I hungry, angry, lonely, or tired?

Reading: The World

Reading 2015, Dec 5 (2)
Animal Wisdom Tarot, A Reading for the World from Rachel Pollack’s The New Tarot Handbook

Position One: Where am I coming from?

Rabbit, Moon Dreamer (the Moon)

A false reality of sorts. The abuse I experienced was real, but I expect it to continue even though I’m in a completely new environment with completely different people. My subconscious has had me trapped in a not-nice dream world where I feared constantly. I still do fear, but I am aware now that it’s a bad dream.

Position Two: Where am I stepping to?

Penguin, Seer of Shells (Page of Cups)

A world of my creating. While sensitive (which I definitely am!), the Page of Cups is also creative and intuitive. By toning down my fears, I am able to tune in to my creativity and intuition. I am stepping into a wonderful world that’s actually been here all along, but I’m seeing it with new eyes.

Position Three: What do I hold for myself?

Deer, Seven of Fossils (Seven of Pentacles)

I have learned to hold patience for myself. This allows me to take joy in the process of creation. For example, rather than harrumphing and saying, “Why can’t I just know all these tarot cards yet??”, I am truly enjoying reading each word as I learn about the cards, examining each version of each card, and practicing readings. I delight when I make a breakthrough and feel like I’m really beginning to understand a particular card. I’ve planted my seeds, and I’m taking pleasure in watching them grow and produce fruit.

Position Four: What do I give others?

Vulture, Ten of Feathers (Ten of Swords)

The Animal Wisdom Tarot emphasizes this card as one of transformation, rebirth, and rising above. In this card, the Vulture is the focus, not the poor dead creature on the ground. As much as I write about my insecurities, I think I am actually quite confident in areas that others are not. So while I can use all the help and support I can get for my own fears, I also have a lot to offer others. Animal Wisdom Tarot says, “Vulture rides thermals to soar high and see far, encouraging us to rise above collective opinion and test larger views” (91). I can help provide new perspectives and outlooks.

Position Five: What new thing awaits me?

Swan, Angel of Alchemy (Temperance)

This is the first time Temperance has come up in a reading for me, and I think it is just delightful in this position! Balance. An acceptance of the contradictions I hold within myself. An acceptance of myself as enough as I am. Loving myself!!

Reading: The Sun

Reading 2015, Dec 4
Animism Tarot, A Reading for the Sun from Rachel Pollack’s The New Tarot Handbook

This reading seems to call for a particular situation, so I’ll just keep in mind my general life transition right now for this reading.

Position One: What is clear about an issue or a situation?

Ten of Pentacles

I have security, my worldly needs are met. This security is a major reason I am able to make this transition. I’ve been able to stop working (mostly, I still teach online) and can dedicate a lot of time to my mental health, which includes practicing tarot.

This card can also symbolize family. I am feeling much more like a “real” member of my chosen family. A greater sense of solidarity helps to support me.

Position Two: What is clouded over?

Ten of Swords

I acknowledge that my fears of betrayal are exaggerated. However, they do indeed still exist. I haven’t been able to banish them. These fears cloud over my ability to truly relax into the feeling of familial solidarity suggested in the Ten of Pentacles.

Position Three: What helps me see clearly?

Ace of Cups

Consciously fostering a new emotional outlook. Joanna says, “This is the potential of creating something magical.” I sure hope so! The more I can grow this Ace of Cups seed, the smaller I hope my Ten of Swords fears will become.

Position Four: What confuses me?

Ten of Cups

This card symbolizes happiness and love and connection and family. Where the Ten of Pentacles represents perhaps a more structured sense of family, the Ten of Cups is more about joy in only each other’s company. Which is a lovely idea! And one I don’t totally understand. Since I am by far the latest joiner to this chosen family of mine, it seems very Ten of Cups and I don’t know what the rules are. They aren’t clear to me. And I do well with structure and rules. Everyone is accepted for who they are, but I don’t understand how respect is enforced, and respect is a big issue for me. (I’ve been in this family for literally years, but it’s just so different than my understanding of the world it is taking a long time to really settle in.)

Position Five: How can I simplify this issue or situation?

Knight of Wands

Conviction, passion, courage, and focus. Adventure! Perhaps I can simplify this transition by framing it as an adventure. There are unknowns and there may be bumps, but all adventures have each of those. So I should approach this adventure with excitement and deal with the bumps along the way rather than focusing all of my the time on what might go wrong or what I’m not sure of.

The Animal Wisdom Tarot says that this card teaches both pacing and stamina, both of which are good to keep in mind on this adventure.

Overall Reflection

Holy tens, Batman! Plus the Ace makes for a big message about beginnings and endings. This is indeed a major transition, and I feel like I’m on the cusp. I can look behind me and see someone totally different. I can look ahead and know that big things are coming, even if I’m not sure what they look like. And the Knight says, “You’ve got this! Stay brave and excited!”

Reading: Getting Back on Track

Reading 2015, Nov 17
Animism Tarot

I have fallen off of the cleaning and exercising wagon and haven’t managed to crawl back on yet despite telling myself I’m ready and should be doing so. I decided to ask tarot today “What can I do to get back on track?”

Six of Wands – A card of victory. Take pride and great satisfaction in what I do! Think of the feeling of accomplishment I will feel after I’ve vacuumed or done yoga. I know that feeling is waiting for me, I just have to do the work to get there.

Page of Wands – Curiosity and enthusiasm. Rather then approach cleaning and exercising with hesitation or dread, I should look at them with fresh, enthusiastic eyes. Be a cute little chinchilla reaching for dandelion fluff in the wind 🙂

Ten of Swords – A card of defeat. I don’t feel emotionally defeated right now, like I did a few weeks ago. My behavior needs to catch up. I’m not defeated, don’t let my behavior reflect defeat in my environment and body.

I need to be enthusiastic, look forward to the feeling of accomplishment I will feel, and to not let my behavior reflect a defeat that isn’t there.

Halloween Reading

I wanted to do this yesterday, but we were awfully busy and I wasn’t able to. So I’m doing my Halloween reading one day late. I found this spread at The Daily Tarot Girl.

Reading 2015, Nov 1
Efflorescent Tarot

Position One: The Costume, who do I want to be this year

Four of Cups

The Four of Cups speaks to dissatisfaction and inner contemplation. I like to consult all of my little white books, and the Animal Wisdom Tarot book says, “Isn’t it time to come out of your shell?” Yes, that’s who I want to be this year. Someone who can let go of the supposed stability (really, rigidity) that keeps me dissatisfied, feeling trapped in myself. While it’s good to look inside myself for contemplation, I can’t stay there forever. It’s time to crawl out of my shell and be a freer, and happier, person. The guide for the Animism Tarot mentions a fear of change. I acknowledge that this fear exists, even as I so wish for change to happen.

Position Two: Possessed, what drives and inspires me

The Moon

The Moon speaks of the unconscious, how it affects us, and sometimes deception.

The moon is our primary natural source of light at night, and by the light of the moon things may or may not be as they seem. In the same way, my unconscious can bring my attention to important things by showing them to me in a new light. But it can also distort reality and make me feel fearful or drive me mad. I am driven by a desire to be a healthy and whole person. To understand my unconscious and how it and my traumatic past influence me so I can take conscious control and grow as a person. It feels like a tightrope pretty often: incredibly empowering and incredibly scary. Are those friendly dogs or hungry wolves under that moon? I’m not sure, but I keep going.

Position Three: Candy, how to get more sweetness out of life

Ace of Pentacles

The Ace of Pentacles represents opportunity. I can get more sweetness out of life by taking hold of more earth-centered opportunities. Create and accept physical comfort, the feeling of home, the wonders of nature, and the presence of my loved ones. I can get sweetness from putting down roots rather than retreating so often when things feel scary. Stay put, ride out the storm, and enjoy the physical joys that come from being in the world.

Position Four: Haunted, ghosts from the past

Ten of Cups

My past is the opposite of the Ten of Cups, which represents unconditional love, family, and bliss. I absolutely did not have a stable support system, and any time I thought things were going well, the rug would be violently pulled out from under me. I desperately want what the Ten of Cups represents. Who doesn’t, right? But any time I feel like I’m getting close to a life that might resemble the happiness contained in this card, I am absolutely gripped with fear that it will all be taken away and that the people I thought could be my loving family aren’t really invested in me and that I’m replaceable and unimportant. It is indeed the ultimate ghost from my past.

Position Five: RIP, how to banish those ghosts for good

The High Priestess

This is a tough one for me. The High Priestess represents intuition, the unconscious, and keeping secrets. Perhaps she is an indication to keep moving along my moonlit path, even though it’s a bit scary. She may also be saying to use my intuition more and my conscious intellect less. Feel my way along the path rather than think my way. Paul Quinn in Tarot for Life says, “that wisdom cannot merely be handed to us; we must feel our way toward it” (46, emphasis in original).

Position Six: Monsters & Goblins, fears and negative habits I’m ready to let go of

Ten of Swords

The Ten of Swords represents defeat. I’m tired of being depressed! I’m tried of fearing that my family of choice doesn’t love me as much as I love them. I’m tired of being afraid to show that love and appearing overly cool with them. Animals Wisdom Tarot’s Ten of Feathers is the vulture which can represent bringing life from death and flying high to shift the way we see the world. I’m ready to do that. I’m not assuming it will be easy, but I’m so ready.